In Dubai it’s sinful to not try a seafood restaurant. After much deliberating, Mr.N and I decided on Ossiano, one of the many acclaimed restaurants that Atlantis at The Palm has to offer. Ossiano has been named Best Seafood Restaurant three years consecutively by Time Out Dubai Restaurant Awards and won the coveted title of Best Restaurant in 2013 and 2014 by The Middle East Hotel Awards. But was it going to win Court of Taste Restaurant of the year?! Hmmm. We coincided our dinner with our Waterpark and Lost Chambers day at the famous hotel. Atlantis itself is like a manic and more children friendly version of a Vegas hotel, so I am told by Vegas frequent, Mr.N, anyway.

We were the first diners to step foot in the restaurant for the evening slot, I think you have all gathered by now just how keen Mr.N and I are to get into places early! You walk down a spiral staircase to a stunning view of the Ambassador Lagoon. If you know me by now, you’ll know what I was thinking. Front row seats, please! I courteously asked the waitress if we could sit directly in front of the Lagoon. The waitress asked if we were staying at the hotel and in despicably non-lawyer fashion, I panicked and told her the truth that we were not. Grrr, all those years of training how to lie and I go and blurt the truth out! We didn’t get front row but we did get 2nd row which turned out to be perfect. Ossiano is the sort of place where I am not kidding when I say you can easily spend your entire evening not even talking to your fellow diners and just endlessly gaze at the enigmatic fish. They are quite hypnotising.

We decided to leave our items at the table and go to the bar. The bar was sleek, all the waiters and bartenders dressed in shiny greyish silver suits perfectly matching the walls. Mr.N as usual managed to end up with a girlier drink than me and I ordered a pina colada for goodness sake! Mine was without doubt the most eye catching pina colada you will ever see encased in a heavy gold pineapple with a smokey cinnamon stick buried in the heap of ice.

For starters I had the yellowtail Carpaccio drizzled in citrus pearls, guacamole and spicy dressing. Mr.N had the Alaskan king crab decorated with watermelon and grapefruit. Mr N is a big fan of Alaskan Crab and sampled some of the best the world can offer during our stay in New York in 2014. This dish took it to a whole new level with the sweet watermelon complementing the crab and bitter grapefruit balancing the dish perfectly.

The crowd at Ossiano was a mixed bag to say the least. At the front were a rather sophisticated looking family, behind them a young Chinese girl and her mother who I’m sure hadn’t exchanged a word all night as the daughter was so busy on her phone. I’d understand if she was fish gazing but no. Unsociable brat. Behind them were this grotesquesly cringe couple who couldn’t take their hands or lips off each other, the man looked considerably older than the Barbie doll on his arm.

For mains, I had the very popular caramelised black cod served with sponge textured scallops cushioned on a bed of linguine and zucchini. If there is a Black Codaholics Anonymous group, I need to join it. Mr.N opted for the wagyu beef tenderloin with a raclette potato foam (cheesy potato foam basically), shimeji and ponzu sauce.

I was amazed by this little crew of fish literally still in the same position for over an hour. Whilst most fish were nonchalantly swimming around, for instance, the shark with his posse of yellow pilot fish following him and then there were these dumb fish just still in one corner. Speaking of dumb, sugar daddy and Barbie had just emerged from the direction of the bathrooms together looking far too happy to not arouse suspicion. Hmmm, each to their own, I guess!

A relatively young couple walked in to be seated in the premium front row seats. The strawberry blonde girl in her black dress was pretty and her other half looked dapper in his three piece suit. He looked nervously on edge as she kept nattering on excitedly to him. Omg. Were we about to witness a proposal?! I kept trying to get a glimpse of her left hand but she was gesticulating so much that I couldn’t see it clearly. Mr.N whispered that Ossiano was one of the top proposal restaurants in Dubai! Ahhh! Maybe a diver will swim over to the window holding up a “will you marry me?” sign as the guy gets down on one knee to open the oyster shell that holds her rock. She’ll be all shocked and teary, we’ll all clap uncontrollably, it’ll be so romantic! The couple even went for the Valentine’s special tasting menu.

For desserts, Mr.N ordered the After Eight mint and dark chocolate sorbet with guanaja emulsion. Guanaja chocolate is a ruthlessly bitter made of 70% cocoa. Turns out that Mr.N loves After Eight and after six years I had only just discovered this. It was such a beautiful looking dessert, almost too pretty to want to ruin but Mr.N didn’t spare it. I chose the soufflé of the day which was the zesty sweet passion fruit and pineapple.

I casually looked back at our little romantic couple and was disheartened to see that the girl already had a ring on her finger! Boo, no proposal tonight then.

If Dubai had a Michelin star system, I highly doubt that Ossiano would be denied the honour. I have to say that in Dubai hospitality in restaurants in on another level, staff are so overly attentive and friendly that it’s a shock to the system coming from the UK where this is more an exception rather than a rule. Rishi went above and beyond his call of duty, so much so that he even gifted a red rose to me at the end of our meal. I’d like to pretend that I had found an admirer but in actual fact they were just giving roses to all female diners as part of the Valentine’s celebrations.

If this restaurant were a fictional character it would be…Ariel, The Little Mermaid- dreamy, hopelessly romantic and always aspiring for better.

Food: 8.5/10  Atmosphere: 9/10  Value: 8/10